She's going to take on the world.....

Right, tonight i had my worst fears confirmed. Alex Jones (yes the mental man with a speaker phone) has shown proof of the dosing of mercury, lithium and prozac to produce bio-enhanced humans.

These drugs have already been introduced in the water supply in the states, how scary is that?!

I have correctly predicted a few events such as this one, this one is a subject close to my heart. I am a heavily medicated person, without my drugs i wouldn't be sat here talking to you, i would probably be in a room dribbling! i am not well at all without medication. IF i knew what i know now about drug induced passivity i would never have taken what they prescribed. I began thinking about concealing drugs in food and water several years ago. I also believe they are happy to stick people on 'lightweight' anti-depressants for years due to the fact if you shout out, protest against what needs to be said to help us survive you can be pinned as a maniac and ultimately will be committed to a government facility to be 'processed'.
Now i know that sounds far fetched but we do have the technology to do this to people, genetically modifing the human mind. Stopping receptors from receiving important information passed onto us through various naturally occurring chemicals in our brain.
Suppressing the human race is the start, getting us all to submit and those few who stand up and speak out will be shamed and in all honesty when this happens i think there will be camps, places for the likes of me to go and live my life until they decide to turn the switch on us.
Once these revolutionaries are removed from society and all you are left with are the 'sheep'. We will be controlled even further through medication and chemicals in our food and water.

They want full control of us. To be able to control population, businesses and the world's economy. This is far into the future but it is coming towards us at a fast rate as less of us are listening to the FACTS.

The world is media driven, we watch TV, on the internet everything is controlled. This blog will prolly flag up on the governments watch list as I've used Alex Jones name. We believe what we are told by the tabloids, by the woman vacantly telling us about the blood shed in Iraq, Iran and other countries. we have become detached to reality and are being led blind into the slaughter house. Is this where you want to go?
I know for a fact i wish to fight my corner the best i can. I'm controlled by my drugs completely but luckily for me i still retain my mind, my break through thinking.

I know you must be thinking i am mental so don't listen but google lithium water supply and you'll get references from big sites claiming how the trials have proved successful. It won't be long till the UK follow suit, if it already hasn't.

The NEW biological modified human is here, if only in a small way. If you accept this then phase 2 will be upon us sooner than we think. Pushing for the new world order and making drones from birth will soon be here.

I have always beleived i am watched as i have been visited by beings since a child. My first experience was as a 4 year old and my mother saw it also. it was a big orange ball with a piece cut out, huge, as big as a football pitch. I have seen this regularly since then. My last visit was about april this year, where dale witnessed the craft himself. These are NOT in my mind people i do not have special powers to play with peoples visions. Joint hallucinations are rare and seeing as ive had 3 people in total see this craft, i can't be imagining it.
Now i do not think i am special nor rare. i believe that the beings are collecting information, our feelings and memories. When they come i get a very calm feeling, a serene open feeling and when they go i feel slightly sad but happy, really happy. its like they set the reset button.
I think there are millions of subjects just like me who are visited and harvested of emotions and memories.
I also strongly believe that the government knows about this. I am a flagged person. government bodies such as hospitals, doctors, police etc know of me, flagged as a revolutionary, someone to watch. Hence why i was heavily medicated by them whilst incapable of making a proper decision. they got a chance to get me into the system so i can be named as a mental if i speak out.

Read up on this, look into drug programs and the ways they are entering chemicals that effect our brain's function into our most basic things.
Look into the new world order, watch the films that you are able to download for free most of the time.

If you want to raise an issue with me, agree or disagree please leave a comment.

It's time to stop this! Share this blog or share a Alex Jones video, search his name on youtube.

xxxx

deeper.....

Today i can feel a black cloud about to come looming over. You would think if i knew it was coming i must be able to stop or at least be cushioned somewhat.
I have never been able to deal with my depression's, i know now when they come, i don't know how severe or mild it may be. the constant worry of not knowing how long the next batch of the blues is going to hit.

I am a rapidly cycling bi-polar sufferer. This basically means my moods rapidly rotate. From crying with laughter i can be crying in sadness. It literally can switch within mins. If anything it annoys me now, the self hate, self pity and inward persona that comes with it. I love life i really do, i really honestly love what life can bring. It's just life has thrown a lot of shit up into my face.
These days with my interest in religion and spirituality i believe that the Buddha faced many challenges and it took him a long time to find inner peace and to be able ot share his life unselfishly with others. Now i know i am not Buddha! but i do think the challenges i face are lessons, my past karma being played out so i can move on and be further along my enlightened path.

Bi-polar, depression, mental illness is widely used these days, i know very few people who haven't had some form of anti-depressant, mainly prozac though, it seems ot have come back into 'fashion' with doctors lately.
Now i have been under a doctor since i was 18-19 with depression. It wasn't until about 3 years ago that i finally got a proper diagnosis. I was treated for a long time with venlafaxine, ever increasing the dosage. I am now on a combination of drugs to treat my bi-polar and borderline personality disorder, i also suffer from massive panic attacks, i find shopping a harassing and disturbing past time. I also have periods of schizophrenia, visual and audible. I have a huge self confidence issue.
People who know me, will prolly tell you i am outgoing, happy and bubbly. Yes i am these things but a lot of it is bravado and the mask i have affection for. The one thing i can hide behind completely. I am deeply unhappy most of the time, happiness comes frequently but it is usually at a cost or a very short time. I hate how i look, i hate how i behave, i hate who i am. i am not comfortable with who i am but at the same time it is with ease that i am this person and i find some form of comfort from difference from my inner feelings.
I also have gender issues. This is a long winded thing which i will perhaps share another time but basically if i could wave a magic wand i would be a bi man who dresses female, a crossdresser if you like. Oh and i also have a massive penchant for transgender folks, someone to share the pain of not being in the right skin i suppose.

The medication list!
200mg Lamotragine - This is to treat my personality disorder, it's a mood stabiliser and is also used to treat epileptic people.
120mg Duloxitine - This is to treat my depression, it seems to work somewhat.
5mg Trifluperazine - This is to stop me wandering about and to have a low dosage of a anti-pyschotic drug.
15mg Mirtazapine - Another anti-depressant which also helps with my sleep.
7.5mg zopiclone - To put me ot sleep. i sleep but not properly without my sleepers.
thats 7 tablets at night!

My sleep.....ohhhhhhh.....its a bugger. i seem to sleep loads but rarely sleep properly when i have my naps during the day. When i don't have my sleeping tablets, i sleep walk, occasionally mixing it with some casual violence towards dale or eating lol so tablets are needed!
I have the most horrific dreams, dreams that are reoccurring. proper horrible things. errghh.

I am known medically and socially as disabled. I am registered as mentally disabled as i am incapable of a normal life without constant care.
This is a really sad thing ot admit, that at the age of 27 i find cooking a meal to be a strenuous thing mentally. i can get to tears if things don't go right. yet cooking is something i love. I reply totally on others for support and guidance. I am at peril most of the time in public places and in the home i aint much better tbh.
I am not a spaz or a wrong 'un, i just can't compute basic information anymore. my brain is broken and its gone past being able to fix. The medication keeps me in a bubble, somewhere in a state of confusion. If i stop my medication (yes, stupidly i have tried) i am a retard. sorry for that but i am, a complete and utter one at that. the things in my head become to much, the noise but at the same time silence. unable to move without it hurting, constantly missing things, living in your own paranoid, fucked up world unable to connect with anyone and finding little friendship or love from anyone, cause you've pushed everyone so far away they are fed up of trying ot help and get in.
To stop me from going mental, in a bad way i decided i needed to be frank and open about EVERYTHING. everything i think of, do and say is for questioning. i tell people activities which either only i should know or a select few. i find no bother talking about sex or toilet duties. i am open with my feelings, often being hurt and often found cowering from the harsh reality of what others think. I am me, i am a one off, i think i am pretty special. My mum always has said i was put here for a reason, there is a purpose for my life. i have yet ot find it.

Right, little bit about the depression. discuss! xxx