Well, after all the drama i went down south for my grandad's funeral. To be honest i dn't really know i how i feel, i don't seem to have processed it. I know it made me incredibly sad and remembered how much he did for me and everyone else. He was a good husband to my nan and a good father to my mum and aunties. It was upsetting looking at his coffin and knowing my grandad laid in there, i wanted to go up and touch it, tell him how much i loved him. i know he knows that anyway but just wanted ot be close one last time.
It was however nice to see my family, to see chrissy (cousin) and my aunty hil, ive missed them so much. Feeling my aunty cuddling me again made me cry even more.
And onward, perhaps when ive thought about it more ill talk more, right now everything is still a bit raw and hiding it under the 'mask' is working for now.
Saturday......ah that seems a very long time ago. We went and picked up Maya and Xander for some 'quality' time. I love having them around, my best friends and the only ones who i implicitly trust ot have no other motive except good.
Well xander and i once again are playing with RC's, this one is a new 5-MeO-DALT, was good stuff lol
raving ot happy hardcore, cheesy trance and general hyperactive talk between xander and i, the tennis we play is fantastic, very rarely understood by others!
Xander being the total fag that he is decided the bathroom floor was the best place to be for 3 hours lol he quite literally felt as sick as a dog but tripping balls lol Maya pretty much fitting and acting like a spaz, whilst i was tripping and trying to come back down cause my friends needed me. managed to find some stability somewhere and we headed to the 'sanctuary' my room. the comfiest room if your into your chems, incense, ommani pad hum on the stereo, fairy lights, candles and when things started looking at needing a pick me up, i quoted some nice passages from the Gita. my bed is covered in pillows and is sooo comfy. was a little bit weird watching X and M rolling around saying they loved each other but it was also nice that they were happy, it was all going very wrong in the toilet. it got to about 8am and i decided i was ready for bed, i left them to it and think they crashed soon after, thing is i went to sleep for 20 hours!!!! with a half hour break to eat something at 9pm!
Overall if your into RC's, into your trips then get some of this stuff! it was very cool, lots of visuals, stimulant to start with and a massive feeling of happiness.
I know i shouldn't play with drugs, but you know what i am a big girl, played with drugs since 16 and am a very careful lady. I don't drink and tend to just drink water on drugs. playing safe but playing well is always on the cards!
Btw i totally claim xander as my wrecking buddy! he is amazing and i right now ive got a lump in my throat thinking how great he is and how much i truly love him (not in that way!) My best friend and a total faggot hehehe
Loves xxxx
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