What does my friendship say to you?

This one is going ot be about friendships, past, present and future!

I was never a popular child, always sat on the outskirts, never fitting in, not that i wanted to, to be honest though. I was a bit of a geek through school and sort of hung about with the geeky lot and the 'in crowd', mainly cause i smoked and had no one to talk too lol i lied a lot to the popular ones, they were all slags pretty much and i wasn't that way inclined. In fact last day of school i told a few that i had lied about losing my virginity, they all had lost theirs years ago, i had fiddled with boys up to 16 but little else. I in fact didn't lose my virginity till i was 16 and a half! lol

So yeah always been a bit odd.

I am never forgotten though. There are people who to me i touched briefly in a friendship but still think of me and look me up to this day. I have had lads go to my mums out after 8 years of not seeing each other, asking how i am!! how strange is that! lol

My past friendships have been strained, hard and fake. Very few have lasted the test of time. I have prolly 3 friendships that are real and true that have lasted more than 5 years. Dan, Anthony & Paul. Note they are all men lol in fact 2 of them are trannies too! lol
I want to tell you how i know at least one of them in full, ill choose Dan as well i love him so much.
Dan is the most beautiful person that i know. He is solid gold. We met through a tranny website, TVChix. I at the time was with Jane but we had started drifting apart and i was basically on the lookout. Dan caught my eye he was a goth tranny with a passion for BDSM. We met it didn't work out the way we thought, i just wasn't attracted to him in his male form. I was blatant and told him outright what my problem was and he respected that and said he would still like to be a friend. Well about a week later i had to test his friendship to its limit pretty much, this is a man I've known for like 2 months and met once. My sisters partner kicked me out, he was fed up of my drug use and general fuckedupness, so new years day i moved to Watford and lived with Dan. We shared a bedsit in a block that was filled with druggies and criminals. We shared a sofa bed for 4 months!!! we knew everything about each other. He became my brother, a true friend. He showed me what a friendship was really. He gave me some faith back in humanity.
My friendships up to then were very material and lasted as long as they could party for! I didn't have a stop button so the friendship would end and i would move onto someone else. I always needed a playmate, i didn't want to be alone. I let people use me in some pretty horrific ways as well as pretty much paying for their shit friendships.
Dan gave me a bit of my confidence back, picked me up after losing the one person i had ever loved and brushed me off. Went to hospital with me when i tried to drown myself, lent me cash to pay bills, fed me and basically made me a better person. I left Dan's capable of looking after myself and feeling lots better on the whole about life.
Dan is so special, I wish he would get a decent car so he could come up here! sharing a bed these days would be a momentous occasion and prolly a little bit weird as i am now with Dale.
We don't speak very often, but we send each other the odd text to say i love you and that we think about each other. I do i think of him a lot, think of all he did and does. He makes me giggle like a school kid, the only person i will wrestle with lol he truly is amazing and i am so lucky to have been able to share that short period of time with him.

I sit here now and i am a lucky lady. I have very few friends but the ones i consider close i would do anything for and they would do anything for me.

to be continued......